I'm self-conscious. Well, not so much in real life. But with this blog, I worry. What if I say something wrong? What if I say something stupid? What if someone doesn't like what I say? What is someone actually reads this blog? Oh, the horror.
I have countless drafts of unfinished or just unpublished blog posts waiting to be worked on. Some of them probably shouldn't see the light of day, but others? They're just waiting.
I have my excuses. Time is the biggest one -- it seems to be my excuse for most of what I put off. But often, I simply don't publish posts because I don't think they are perfect. I fear failure or looking dumb.
Something about posting words on the internet seems so permanent. People post silly words on their social media websites all the time and a blog post is not much more than a more organized or serious status update. Even so, I've been taught that once posted, even if deleted, nothing can be erased on the internet.
That's scary. I fear publishing and then regretting my words. What if I change my mind? What if I want to take my words back?
And then I realized something. I don't have to be perfect. I don't have to get it right the first time. I am allowed to make mistakes. I'm allowed to change my mind.
Speaking out may have consequences, but so does staying quiet. So today, I choose to hit 'publish'.