Saturday, December 27, 2014

9 Reasons My Relationship Status Stays off Facebook

Having lots of Facebook "friends" means getting to witness all the mushy relationship stuff that people you barely know or people you've known for years display as they move through the phases of their relationship.

I haven't dated much. My list of boyfriends is short and can be completed with exactly two names. But I never made these relationships "Facebook official" and plan to never post my relationship status on FB until I am at least engaged if not already married.

I have a few reasons for keeping my status private.

1. If the relationship is short-lived, none of my online friends have to know.
It's kinda embarrassing when you make a big announcement like that online, break up a few weeks later, and then people are still asking about "your new boyfriend" for the next six months because they didn't see that your status got changed back to single.

2. No drama if I break up.
Breaking up can be hard. Feeling the need to log on to the internet and update your singleness can just make you feel worse.

3. People don't seem to know the difference between 'in a relationship' and 'engaged'.
Let's take some of the comments from three of my FB friend's recent relationship status updates. One friend got in a relationship, one got engaged, and one got married.

Friend #1:

  • "Yayyy!!!"
  • "Congratulations!"
  • "FINALLY!"

Friend #2:

  • "Congratulations!"
  • "May God bless the two of you!"

Friend #3:

  • "Ahhhhh!"
  • "Congrats"
  • "How exciting!" 
Which friend got in a relationship? Engaged? Married? It's kind of hard to tell. I don't like it when people just get into a relationship and the comments feel like you're engaged or even married. It makes the relationship feel a little more serious than perhaps it actually is and who wants that pressure (especially if the relationship is new)? 

4. I am not dating for my friends. 
In high school, I wanted to change my relationship status on FB so bad! But then when I finally did have a boyfriend, it seemed like the silliest thing to do. Why make it so public? I'm not dating for my FB friends, I'm dating for me.

5. I trust my boyfriend.
Maybe making the relationship "Facebook official" will encourage your boyfriend or girlfriend to remain faithful to you. Well, if that's what is holding the two of you together, there might be bigger problems heading your way. 

6. It's more fun.
I love people not knowing I have a boyfriend or just not knowing for sure who that guy is in my pictures. I don't usually bring my boyfriend up in conversation with people who don't know I'm in a relationship. There's no need for people to know all my business. Besides, I'm still me and I want people to treat me as an individual.  

7. It's less annoying for single people.
I hate being single and seeing a bunch of my FB friends getting into relationships. I don't want to do the same thing to the single people I know whenever I have a boyfriend. 

8. Surprise!
When I finally do change my relationship status to engaged, some people will be downright shocked because they won't even know I have a boyfriend. Won't that be fun?

9. These aren't my friends anyway.
I don't know how most people utilize Facebook, but a lot of my so-called "friends" are really just acquaintances or people I used to know and see more often. I'm also connected with relatives I rarely see or even people I haven't met in person at all. Except for my close family and friends who will know my business anyway, my FB "friends" don't need to know who I'm dating at the moment. 

What about you? Do you change your relationships status or do you prefer to keep it off-line?


  1. Good advice. Let's hope your FB friends will see this.