Saturday, January 4, 2014

No, please. Don't RSVP. I'll just guess.

About eight years ago, my dad hosted a poker party at our house. He invited about ten guys over, his faithful wife and kids made the snacks, and Dad organized the tables, cards, and chips. Some said they thought they could make it so Dad expected at least a few of his bros to show up.

No one attended.

Just recently, I decided to host my own party. It was supposed to be a reunion party for a group of people I used to see weekly. We have not been a group for about seven months, so our meeting was long over-due (at least, in my opinion). Not including myself, 13 people were invited.

Of the 13 people:

  • 1 RSVP'd yes and came
  • 1 RSVP'd no and did not come
  • 2 RSVP'd yes and backed out the day of the event
  • 1 said she would "let me know"... she never did 
  • 7 did not RSVP at all
  • 1 called the day of the event to RSVP with a no
Out of 13 people, only one managed to make and keep her commitment to attend. 

Image found here

So, what's going on? Why would the people invited to my dad's poker party or the people invited to my reunion party not show up, not RSVP, and seemingly act as though they don't care about the event at all? 

1. The "Something-Better-Might-Come-Along" syndrome
Why commit to that party when something better might come along if I just wait. Solution? Learn to commit and keep your commitments. It's a trait that will help you in all areas of your life. 

2. The "I-genuinely-forgot" excuse
Some of these people may have genuinely forgot. I get that. I forget things to. Solution? It's called a calendar. Get one at the Dollar Store. Write in it. Look at it every day. 

3. The "I-don't-need-to-RSVP" disorder
This... this is perhaps the worst. This person believes they can simply slide by without replying to the invite. Solution? If someone is nice enough to invite you to their home, offer to feed and entertain you... you need to RSVP with a yes or a no and you need to do so as soon as humanly possible (read: when you get the invitation).

4. The "Back-out-at-the-last-minute" trick
No, I'm sorry, this one is the worst. Letting someone know the day-of the event that you can no longer attend is socially unacceptable and rude. Family emergencies happen, but are rare. Solution? If you said you were going to come, come. The host(ess) already set you up a spot, bought you food, etc. (See number 1 for that whole thing about commitment.)

In a nutshell: keep a calendar, learn to commit, respond quickly to invitations, and simply be polite. That way, the host(ess) can plan accordingly and everyone who actually does attend the party will have fun (and not have to eat all the left-over food for the next week). 


  1. Normally when I get invited to a big Facebook event that I can't attend, I feel bad declining so I just don't respond. This week I declined one after reading this post and left a brief comment wishing my best to the host and letting her know I would be out of town.

    1. So glad this post inspired you to take action and thanks for reading!