I'm a Christian and I Could Not Care Less about the "Noah" Movie

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Since I'm not on Facebook right now, I feel a little out of the loop when things like a silly movie, or a simple blog post, or a simple blog post about a silly movie, upsets the entire Christian community. Thankfully, I've got three other Facebook users in the house who can let me know when our mutual Christian friends are getting their underwear in a wad over this sort of thing.

So apparently some guy named Darren something wrote and directed some movie staring some well-known actors about some Bible story. Well, not just any story. One of the first stories in the whole Scripture: the story of Noah and the flood that wiped out almost all of humankind.

Christians everywhere are in an outrage about the film's "artistic licenses" and all of the changes that this Darren guy has made that deviate from the original words in the Bible.

Now, I haven't seen the film. And I don't plan to see the film. If I wasn't a Christian, I probably would not have even known that this film existed because I don't watch commercials and I don't keep up with movies all that well. Plus the movies are just too darn expensive anyway! (But that's another rant for another blog post.)

But even with all the publicity and rage and the fact that I am a Christian who likes the story of Noah... I'm still not going to go see the film.

Why?

Because I know it would be a waste of my time.

I have literally not seen even one of this Darren guy's other films. They are made for a more mature audience and do not look appealing to me in the least. Black Swan? Requiem for a Dream? The Wrestler? The titles alone don't sound like my cup of tea and after reading the descriptions, I'd have to say pass.

So why are so many Christians wasting their time and money watching, thinking about, or raging about this guy's movie called "Noah". The man is not a Christian and does not claim to be. He's a Hollywood director, not a theologian. I wouldn't trust a Hollywood director to teach my children a Sunday school lesson. Would you? (Please say no.)

What's all the rage? Why get so angry? It's a silly film, for crying out loud, and I think even non-Christians know that the director is going to take some artistic liberties and change the story a bit. If anything, it might cause non-Christians to want to go read the story of his or herself.

It saddens me that the Christians of my generation are all worked up over this stupid film. It's just a movie! And yet we're going to war over whether or not it's Biblical, whether it captures the true nature of the story, whether stories in Genesis are merely metaphorical or truly historical.

It's not that those issues don't matter, but come on. Get over it. Move it.

Again, I must repeat, a non-Christian, Hollywood director wrote and directed the film. It's not going to be a Sunday school lesson.

If Darren's other films appeal to you, go spend eight bucks on "Noah". If they don't, stay home, or go see that "Muppets Most Wanted" or go see that "God's Not Dead" movie.

The great things about this country: you have options; you have freedom. So pick a movie you're going to like and stop worrying about whether or not this "Noah" movie is going to drive Americans farther away from God than they already are. I can assure you, it will have little to no effect on the average atheist.

I'm a Christian, and I could not care less about the "Noah" movie.